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  • Jeff Brain 4:39 am on March 7, 2010 | 0 Permalink | Reply

    Hope Restored…

    It was an amazing day at The Family Foundation School yesterday.  Tommy (not his real name), a former student, contacted Mike Argiros, our President, by email asking to come back to the school.  Tommy is a now 18 year old young man who left the school several months ago by our suggestion, recognizing that he had no interest in what we were offering and was creating a disruptive environment for our other students.  Since that departure, Tommy quickly returned to drugs and a destructive pattern of living.  At a point of reaching his own defined bottom, he asked us to consider taking him back.  He communicated that he felt like a failure, and that if he didn’t get help, and soon, he would be in jail or dead.   Tommy resumed attending NA meetings and attending church but felt he needed more.  When a GED teacher asked him why he was not getting his high school diploma after scoring very high on a practice test, Tommy saw this as confirmation that he needed to come back, to finish what his parents had set into motion.

    In the spirit of how the founders of The Family Foundation School began, by opening their hearts and home to those in need, Tommy was invited back to interview with us.  He made arrangements for his own transportation to the school and met with us for several hours.  What we saw amazed and humbled us.  Tommy was a young man at the end of himself – humble and sincerely asking for help.  By this time, he had been clean and sober for 3 weeks and wanted to stay that way.  Why FFS?  Why not any one of a number of excellent rehabs, drug treatment or other similar programs?  As Tommy was warmly greeted with hugs and handshakes through the day, he commented that “its so good to be back at a place where people are happy, and they really care about you”.   During the interview process, he shared how great it was to have people take time to talk to him, ask him how he felt and even to be pressed – “I need people who will be tough and honest with me”.  Recognizing that it had been a long time since he sat and talked about emotions, he was at a loss to describe his feelings – having deadened them with drugs for so many months. 

    Whether we accepted Tommy back of not, this day would be a turning point in his life – a time when he took initiative to ask for help, to reach out and embrace what previously he rejected.  How significant that an 18 year old with many options, would choose The Family Foundation School.  His father warned him that it was unlikely we would take him back, given his history with us.  If we did, his father said it would be “like winning the lottery”.

    It was an emotional day for us all – and a day where we left feeling grateful to work in a place such as this – where a student like Tommy would return (with no pressure from parents or threat from the legal system), having felt the loss and regret of what he previously turned his back on.  The love, the concern, the structure, the positive environment – all things he had not found after leaving the school. And grateful that such a place exists for young people like Tommy.

     

  • Jeff Brain 10:13 pm on March 6, 2010 | 0 Permalink | Reply

    A campus tour checklist for parents -

    For years, I have worked with parents of troubled teens and struggling teens as they have searched for therapeutic boarding schools. This is one of the most difficult decisions parents make on behalf of their child and their family. It has significant implications not only for the immediate future, but long into adulthood. Finding the right program can be daunting, given the many options, subtle differences between programs, and the marketing that schools and programs have in place to draw prospective parents. The evaluation process necessarily entails a degree of discernment and care that is often difficult since the decision is often being made in the face of crisis. Parents experience a myriad of emotions — frustration, fear, disappointment, anger, hopelessness — none of which are good for making informed, well reasoned and thought-out decisions.

    After reviewing a school’s website and admissions packet, and speaking with admissions personnel, parents need to make the all-important campus visit to learn first-hand whether the school is appropriately equipped to meet their child’s needs.

    My experience has been that many parents are not well prepared for this campus tour, and understandably so. Most parents have not had the experience of evaluating and choosing a therapeutic school environment, and thus do not know what to look for or how to discern aspects of a school that make it right or wrong for their child. In addition, there is usually so much emotion associated with the process that the evaluation is sometimes based on an emotional reaction rather than the merits of the school.

    My hope in writing this is to provide parents with a checklist — a list of important and necessary things to look for, questions to ask, and mistakes to avoid when touring a campus. The list is developed not only from my experience as the director of admissions at a therapeutic boarding school, but also as a clinician who has visited over 100 schools and programs. From both sides of the table, I have experienced the challenge of not only learning and understanding programs, but in accurately representing them as well.

    Although this information is copyright protected, permission is granted to parents to copy and use as they begin to visit schools and programs. I hope that it is helpful to you, and that it empowers you to more effectively engage and evaluate the schools you visit. I value any additional items that could be added to make the checklist more thorough. I invite you to email me your ideas at jbrain@thefamilyschool.com

    Making the Most of Your On-campus Tour
    A checklist for parents when visiting a therapeutic boarding school or similar program

     

  • Jeff Brain 8:35 pm on September 29, 2009 | 4 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Families, spirituality

    6 Characteristics of Strong Families:
    I came across interesting info about the characteristics of strong families while attending a workshop on the development and formation of eating disorders. The following characteristics are attributed to Dr. John DeFrain from the University of Nebraska. He reports that the six characteristics of strong families are:

    1. Open communication including appropriate emotional expression
    2. Expressed appreciation
    3. Commitment (to the relationships within the family system)
    4. Time spent together
    5. Viewing crisis as an opportunity for growth
    6. Spiritual wellness

    Interesting, right? Again, we see spiritual wellness as an important characteristic – one that is so often overlooked – or dismissed. Expressed appreciation is good to see as well – how often do we expressed appreciation to/among our family members?

    Food for thought…

     

    • Arlene 2:43 am on September 30, 2009 Permalink

      Is there a gray area between the 6 characteristics of strong families and the 12 steps to raising at-risk kids? I think a lot of families might fall into the gray area! Thanks for another interesting blog!

    • Annamaria 7:42 pm on January 2, 2010 Permalink

      So true!!!!!!

    • Carolann 6:53 am on February 4, 2010 Permalink

      What happens when the family meets these characteristics, yet 1 child has lost his way despite all else? A lost child is not necessarily that result of a weak family or faulty parenting.

    • Jeff Brain 3:40 am on February 5, 2010 Permalink

      Carolann – I agree with you and unfortunately, we do see this often – a child loses his way (and I like the way you put that) despite the love and healthy environment in the home. So often fingers get pointed toward parents when really this type of thing can effect any family. We know that despite what is known about good parenting (just like what is known for good teaching/education in schools) some kids do not accept and respond to our best. Children and teens are affected by so many forces and influences – and a child can be lured away into a life style that is inconsistent with the way they have been raised. This occurs in treatment to – two kids side by side, one gets better, the other doesn’t. Just today a mom expressed this same sentiment as she agonized about the possibility that her son may not be able to live with her – she wrote in part “at this point I think he wants freedom so badly that he sees no benefit to a stable, loving and boundary driven household.” Our hope and prayers are that seeds were planted and that they will find their way in time because they had the experience of being loved, accepted and cared for – that it will be a desire to return to that one day. Not unlike the story of the prodigal son, the father waits for his son to come to the end of himself before he returns – and what joy is there for both of them when they are re-united. For those with mental health issues, engagement with appropriate treatment is so important to help secure that stability of thought and mind.

  • Jeff Brain 12:26 am on September 14, 2009 | 5 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , raising children

    Although I don’t care for the term “juvenile delinquent”, I came across a different 12-steps related to raising juvenile delinquents. Those of us who work with at-risk teens will recognize these 12-steps – as they are crucial to raising children who encounter significant problems during their development – most often during adolescence.

    What is particularly interesting is that these steps come from the Houston, TX police department!

    The 12 Steps to Raising a Juvenile Delinquent can be found at: http://tiny.cc/KQ73T or are listed here:

    1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

    2. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they won’t be so shocked when the home is broken up later.

    3. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.

    4. Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own.

    5. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let “him decide for himself”.

    6. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that his every sensual desire is gratified.

    7. Avoid the use of “wrong”. He may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

    8. Let him read any printed material, and listen to any music he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

    9. Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

    10. When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, “I could never do anything with him.”

    11. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

    12. Prepare for a life of grief. You will likely have it.

     

    • Ripples — Stepping Stone Partners 3:37 pm on September 18, 2009 Permalink

      [...] A different slant on inverse steps for parenting. [...]

    • Arlene 9:14 pm on September 24, 2009 Permalink

      What is your definition of a juvenile delinquent? Do at risk students at FFS fall into this catagory? In my opinion, I don’t feel that my child is a juvenile delinquent. Is she an at risk student? Probably. I say she is a teenager who made poor choices and needs guidance to get back on the right path.

    • Robin Schecher 1:43 pm on October 12, 2009 Permalink

      I agree-I did alot of those things-giving money for nothing, picking up all the time after my daughter, allowing her to hang with peer groups who I felt were not nice girls. She is now a dfiant, spoiled brat who fights with us all the time and only wants her own way-no compromise. We did try to give her a sprititual base but now she mocks us and she says she does believe in God. We are sad that we are dealing with a fourteen year old who has become a stanger to us. We so want our daughter back.

    • Craig 3:52 pm on December 12, 2009 Permalink

      Too bad this advice always seems directed toward parents with teenagers instead of birthing classes.

    • Lisa Reynolds 2:16 pm on February 17, 2010 Permalink

      Yes, that all makes sense however, I can honestly say, the only two wrongs I have made is the poor music he has chosen and spiritually he feels he has no interest. I still have a very difficult and impulsive child who does not fear consequence.

  • Jeff Brain 3:37 am on September 12, 2009 | 2 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: risk, suicide, Teens

    Interesting report of a study that appeared in the journal Pediatrics (Vol 124, No 1) led by researcher Dr. Iris Bowrowsky. Found that 1 in 7 teens thinks he or she is going to die before age 35 and this behavior leads many to engage in risky behaviors. They analyzed data from nationally representative sample of more than 20,000 youth in grades 7-12. They found that adolescents who thought they had a good chance of dying earlier were more likely to engage in illicit drug use, suicide attempts, fighting and unsafe sexual activity that those who didn’t feel that way. The study suggests that in some cases teens take risks because they “feel hopeless and figure that not much is at stake.”

     

  • Jeff Brain 7:27 pm on July 26, 2009 | 0 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , ,

    Eating Disorder in Teens
    A colleague from a well respected Residential Treatment Center forwarded me this wonderful article written by Dr. Kim Dennis (New-Food-Fight). She is a psychiatrist who writes about her personal experience with an eating disorder. In sharing her experience, strength and hope, both as a member of the medical community and the recovery community, she is inviting to help and support others on their journal to recovery.

     To me, it is especially meaningful and helpful when treatment professionals can draw from their own personal experience. We value this at the The Family Foundation School, the therapeutic boarding school where I work, since it helps the staff relate to the struggles of the students have AND it helps the students relate to the staff (they really understand me – they know what I am going through). So often, treatment is provided by well intentioned and well trained individuals but who lack personal recovery experience. It is refreshing when people like Dr. Dennis share their own experience, along side their professional training.

     “A Doctor, A Director and a Friend of ED” is a great article to share with those who are in treatment for eating disorders. KIMBERLY DENNIS, MD, is the medical director at Timberline Knolls (www.timberlineknolls.com). Located in Lemont, Ill., Timberline Knolls is an innovative residential treatment center designed exclusively for women and adolescent girls with emotional disorders, including eating disorders, addiction and self-injury behavior. Dr. Dennis is a member of the Academy of Eating Disorders, the American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry, and the American Society of Addiction Medicine.

     

  • Jeff Brain 7:26 pm on July 26, 2009 | 2 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ADHD, , Sleep, ,

    Struggling Teens, ADHD and Sleep
    The August 2009 issue of Clinician’s Research Digest reports on an interesting study that appeared in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology (34,328-337) by researchers Mayes, Calhoun, BIxler, Vgontzas, , Mahr, et al. The purpose of the study was to evaluate differences in the frequency and types of sleep problems in children with ADHD and co-occurring disorders such as anxiety, depression and oppositional defiant disorder. The study reinforced the importance of attending to children’s sleep patterns, particularly in children with a diagnosis of ADHD-combined or ADHD-inattentive, anxiety or depression. There may be a tendency to focus on treating behavioral issues or changing maladaptive cognitions; however it may be equally important to simultaneously address sleep problems. Treatment may need to include the development of good sleep hygiene including strategies to assist with relaxation prior to going to bed and falling back to sleep after awakening in the night.
    Although on some level the results are common sense, but those who work with teens diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder or other emotional disorders know that adherence to bed time routine presents real challenges, often resulting in reduced sleep and disrupted sleep routines. At the therapeutic boarding school I work at, all students follow a regular routine of scheduled bed time, preceded by activities that promote relaxation and meditation. Additionally, creating an environment that is conducive for sleep in congregate living arrangements can be challenging, but is important to ensure that everyone sleeping in proximity with one another is in fact, preparing to fall sleep. We have found that helping teens get a good night’s sleep is an important part of the overall therapeutic process.

     

    • Lon Woodbury 4:52 am on September 1, 2009 Permalink

      Hi Jeff:
      Good to see you getting your blog active.
      Interesting article relating to sleep problems. You think it might relate to my periodic insomnia?

    • Devora 5:00 pm on September 5, 2009 Permalink

      Hi there,
      I am a parent of a teen girl, 15 years old. She is struggling with sleep issues, eating issues and a lot of anger. I agree that if all these things were in balance she would be much better off. The problem is getting the child to choose to take the action and the better habits. Any suggestions?

  • Jeff Brain 7:24 pm on July 26, 2009 | 0 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Relapse, Struggling Teen, Teen Marijuana Abstinence,

    Adolescent Views about Abstinence and Relapse with Marijuana Use
    The August 2009 issue of Clinician’s Research Digest reports on an interesting study that appeared in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2009, 77, 554-565) by researchers King, Chung & Maisto. Up to 2/3 of adolescents return to regular marijuana use 3-6 months after treatment. Booster sessions after treatment could potentially assist in relapse prevention, but the timing and content of the booster sessions have not been well researched. This study included 142 adolescents recruited from 6 addiction treatment facilities. During outpatient treatment that lasted for 6-8 weeks, adolescents marijuana use gradually declined but an increase began to occur at months 5 and 6. They found that motivation to abstain from marijuana declined over time and became predictive of the trajectory of marijuana use. The findings from this study highlight how recovery from substance abuse is a “dynamic process of change over time”. Additionally, “targeting abstinence-related cognitions and increasing self-efficacy related to abstinence compliance during and after treatment can significantly impact current use of marijuana and future relapse in marijuana use among adolescents” Booster sessions beginning at 3 months after treatment may be useful.
    I found this article interesting for a number of reasons:
    • It reinforces the dynamic nature of both the etiology and recovery from marijuana use
    • It reinforces the need to address abstinence related cognitions, which we find to be a central component of 12-step programs
    • It recommends booster sessions beginning 3 months after treatment. This was the most surprising conclusion as it does not define what constitutes booster session but more importantly, does not recommend a more frequent schedule. My experience is that adolescents especially need to be practicing, rehearsing and reinforcing their recovery efforts frequently. Waiting for 3 months risks waiting too long.
    • Finally, the study reported that a 33% of the adolescents were diagnosed with ADHD and conduct disorder. 80% were diagnosed with marijuana abuse and 50% also meeting criteria for alcohol abuse. These concurrent diagnoses make interpreting the finding more challenging. Certainly teens with ADHD and conduct disorder will necessarily have a harder time with treatment compliance than non-affected youth. Those with concurrent alcohol use are further involved in illegal and influential drug use. The statistics also allow that some students could have all four diagnoses (which we see with regularity at our therapeutic boarding school). These young people require longer term treatment and very carefully planned aftercare.

     

  • Jeff Brain 2:02 am on July 8, 2009 | 6 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Educational Consultants, Selecting the Best Level of Care

    The Family Foundation School

    I came across an excellent resource today that differentiates between therapeutic boarding and residential treatment options following wilderness. Although I summarize the various levels of treatment intervention for struggling teens in my article “How do I Decide the Best School for my Child”, I especially like the descriptions provided by educational consultant Leslie Goldberg of the Goldberg Center in her post “Therapeutic Boarding or Residential Treatment after Wilderness”. The Goldberg Center is a respected educational consulting firm that enjoys an excellent reputation. One unique resource is their in-house Goldberg Educational Placement Inventory (GEPI) – which is a free resource offered by Leslie and her team to help parents determine the best placement options for their son or daughter. The Goldberg Center’s web-site and blog are excellent sources of help for parents.

     

    • Palomaro 11:52 am on July 11, 2009 Permalink

      Thank you. I am pleased to read your article.

    • derekpm 11:41 pm on July 12, 2009 Permalink

      Rather interesting. Has few times re-read for this purpose to remember. Thanks for interesting article. Waiting for trackback

    • Ripples 7:45 pm on July 14, 2009 Permalink

      [...] Jeff Brain shared an interesting resource to help differentiate between therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment center options following wilderness. [...]

    • Jenny-Help for troubled teens 1:02 pm on July 16, 2009 Permalink

      Thanks Jeff for sharing wonderful piece of information..

    • Bataku 1:15 pm on July 16, 2009 Permalink

      I would like to see a continuation of discussions on this topic.

    • Marianne 6:44 pm on July 27, 2009 Permalink

      What does family do when they cannot afford a good therapeutic boarding school but need placement

  • Jeff Brain 4:41 am on July 4, 2009 | 2 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , Suicide Assessment

    Suicide Assessment in Troubled Teen Girls and Boys:

    For those of us who work in therapeutic boarding schools, accurately assessing suicidality of troubled teens is of vital importance. In a recent study reported in the Journal of Adolescence (2009, 32, 619-631) and summarized in Clinician’s Research Digest (July, 2009, Vol 27, 7), adolescent suicidality was best predicted through information obtained from parents. The report, Suicidal Assessment in Adolescents: Which Technique is the Most Useful? found that having a mood disorder was a strong indicator of suicidality. Parents were especially helpful informants during the assessment process, whereas sibling reports were less predictive. Additionally, observer observations, adolescent reported delinquency and diagnosis of conduct disorder did not predict suicidality.

    The Clinician’s Research Digest concluded that interviewing adolescents and their parents when conducting suicide assessments of troubled teens, would be the most useful method of obtaining infromation predictive of suicidality. The information from parents was the most predictive of future suicidality whereas adolescent reports where primarily associated with only current ideations, plans and attempts. The study concluded that suicide assessment should be incorporated into standard clinical interviews of adolescents.

    At the therapeutic boarding school that I work at, we have found the same to be true. We gather detailed information from parents throughout the admissions review process and then conduct a suicide assessment after students enroll. Integrating the information from parents with the face-to-face interview with the teen, has given us the best opportunity to predict level of risk which gives us an opportunity to intervene to best help the troubled teen.

    Parents – trust your instincts and be sure to share what you know and suspect with any therapist or clinician working with your son or daughter. It could save his or her life.

     

    • Renee Goldberg 8:09 am on July 4, 2009 Permalink

      Thank you Jeff. Good information for consultants. And Happy 4th of July.

    • katelynn goodwin 4:51 pm on July 29, 2009 Permalink

      What can you do to stop the thoughts about Suicide? Some times i think about Suicide because of the things that happen to me in the past. Will someone give me some answers?

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